Out of Sorts – a sense of restlessness defined by self doubt; feeling like something isn’t right
I’ve been feeling “out of sorts” lately. Trauma. Drama. Avoidance. Distance. Rest. Grounded. Renewal. Ease. Love. All better.
Not exactly. There is plenty of self improvement going on here.
That is my process for processing life in a nutshell, though. I’m a bit of lone wolf when it comes to processing the crap that happens in life. Well, crap, amazingness, anything that evokes emotion. And since my heart is always pumping there is plenty of ‘lone wolfing’ going on.
I also like working with really great people. People who enjoy whimsy, freedom, grandiose thinking and take action. People who are willing to help other people by sharing their talents. I find it humbling.
It’s always humbling to have a stranger do something for you. It’s always humbling to receive a gift from a friend. It’s always humbling to be loved by the people you love. I am humbled.
I believe there is a connection between the feeling of humble and having a sense of being out of sorts. I envision it as the emotional sphere’s sense of balance.
“Oh, you’re feeling out of sorts?” says the goddess of the emotional sphere. Here’s a reminder you’re not alone.
What can one do but delight?
Let this serve as a reminder in this heightened time of ‘out of sortness,’ that you’re not alone. Your intentions have a ripple effect. My intentions have a ripple effect. We’re in this together, let’s be kind to one another.
Mary Anne Radmacher’s quote is, “courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.”
Pause and think about that for a moment……….breath in the light and breath out letting go……..
I had this quote posted on my refrigerator when I was going through a difficult time in my career.
I would stare at the quote wondering what it meant.
At the time, it motivated me to keep trying. I took several actions, none of which worked at first.
It was only when I let go, that things started to work for me.
They spun out of control, I felt like a tornado. Rushed, never calm.
Then one day I realized – trying, starting and creating are what I like to do. I have no tolerance for negative people. Complaints should be registered else where. I like to try to make things work. I’ve said, “we can try that,” on many occasions.
I stared at the quote today. I wondered what this quote meant for me now. I’ve changed, has it?
My dog distracted me. He couldn’t quite get to his food ball (a large ball you put food in for your dog to slow down his vacuum-like eating habit.) I smiled at him and said, “you can do it.” He tried, it didn’t work, he stared at me, I smiled back at him. He tried again, squatting deep under the TV stand. He wrapped his teeth around the ball and dragged it, just far enough to give it a push with his nose. “Your did it!” I said.
I looked back at the quote and smiled. It’s funny how lessons enter your life at just the right time. What did Salem and the quote teach me, today? A little inspiration, self reflection, healing and encouragement create a path for courage and trust.
How am I bound to be successful? This question is not a question about success. It’s about re-membering, being in your bliss, adapting, testing boundaries, dreaming and your fantastic reality.
I’m bound to be successful is a way of thinking. So many times we catch ourselves saying “I’ll try my best.” Let’s be honest, trying is our way of dealing with reality, but it’s not exactly the most positive approach to life. It’s a way for us to grapple with reality.
I’m bound to be successful is a declaration. It’s a recognition that you have what you need, to do what you want. You’re bound to be successful!
A call comes in, maybe from a child, a friend or a person waiting for you and they pop the question, where are you?
What if we ask this same question of ourselves? Where are you?
Where are you when you’re driving your car here and there? You are at the helm of approximately 5,000 lbs of metal. Depending on your speed, that is a lot of power and force you control. And yet, we eat, we sing and dance, we gawk, we talk on the phone, we distract ourselves from driving.
So, where are you AND what are you doing? So many people get distracted by the questions – where am I going OR my favorite, why am I here? We’ll get there, I promise. Honestly, if we won’t get there, it’s because we didn’t start here – WHERE ARE YOU?
Need an activity to help you figure out where you are? Start listening, truly listening, to the questions asked of you by your most influential person. Your most influential person is the person in your life that causes you to act the most. Remember thinking is an act. For two weeks, consistently write down the questions this person asks. After two weeks, review and reflect on the questions. Then determine where you are. Mark your ‘X.”
What does having it all mean to you? I have to admit, I’ve recently been feeling stuck and burdened by the freedom of choice. I must have said, WTF to myself a hundred times in the last 3 months. Then, this question came into my awareness – what does having it all mean to you? And life is flowing once again.
Here’s my list. It’s what I plan to focus and manifest over the next few months/years.
Life has many warning signs. The gut feeling that you shouldn’t go there or you should leave now. The consistent internal conflict that arises from a certain relationship. The big arrow saying this way placed beside the path of least resistance. Life becomes full of maybes – fast and furious. The karma is devastating. The karma takes you higher.
Reality is you get sick, you cry (a lot), you feel frustrated and down right unhappy. Good for you, you are aware. You’re alive.
I’ve been thinking about my soul journey. What are the sign posts? What are the warning signs? Am I doing the right things? Am I being me? I am thinking big enough? Small? Does it even matter what I think?
Then it happened. A sense inside me that can only be described as inner peace. I learned a new word, equanamous. I felt radiant. I got tired. I got up from the nap and took a walk. Up and down. Up and down I went. Year to year, month to month, day by day in the moment and out.
Up and down WE go. And I realized, they aren’t warning signs. They are sensations. Sensations that say, you’re human. Just be. The shift happened and I won’t ever be the same.
When you spend time with me you’ve heard me say, that’s your stuff, not my stuff. At one time, and from time to time, I think I have to follow all the rules. As mini-Shanon, following the rules was good. I wanted to be good. I was rewarded. Some where, around the age of 8, I realized rules we guidelines. My rewards changed.
I won an award for creating an anti-pollution poster. Appraise! I learned stoves are very hot; hot enough to light oil on fire. Oil is flammable. I became a better cook. I said the wrong thing in a meeting. Glares. I said the wrong thing in a meeting and career opportunities appeared. I showed up to places where “I didn’t belong” and walked away with new friends. I “belonged” and never fit in. Crazy rules.
My favorite rule of all? Your stuff is not my stuff. Explicit in this rule is choice. I can choose to accept your stuff. I don’t have to take on your stuff. I can’t change you. I can’t change the situation, the lesson, the experience…it. Please beware of your ‘it.’ There are no take backs for lived experiences. Your sadness, madness, praise and acclaim, it’s yours. My celebration, strengths, hardships and “learning lessons,” they are mine. We can connect and we cannot exchange our awareness.
I knew I was on to something, with my new rule, when a personal transformational shift occurred. The rewards changed. The gifts have been life altering. But that story is for another day, it’s exercise time.
High Five Friday’s is my e-newsletter. High Five reader Ellen, recently submitted the following questions in response to reading something I wrote about assumptions.
How do you treat the person who you dislike the most? Do you avoid them? Do you think of things that they will do when you are around them? Do you see redeemable qualities in them? Do you see parts of yourself in them?
Thank you, Ellen, for reading and sharing your questions.
My journal exercise went something like this:
List of ways I treat people I dislike
When I dislike a person it is for a reason and I need to shift my relationship to that person. Avoiding people can work to my advantage and often keeps me sane. I believe in the power of timing and good timing is rarely immediate. At the same time, dislike is a feeling that arises because now is the time for me to deal with something about me. I reflect on me and my actions, not the other person. Depending on the level of emotional charge the reflection period time varies.
I want to be the kind of woman that shows off my tattoos in her 80′s. I want to be the kind of woman that doesn’t look back. The master of letting go. A women with mild impatience for the little things and a fierce impatience for the big things.
The kind of woman that can shoot a look saying you’re wrong, go to hell or simply back off buddy; while maintaining total grace in movement, thought and action. The kind of woman you know not to cross because you’re sure she will make your life hell. Yet, the first person you call for help because I bring the calm, caring perspective and love needed to get from the survival of a bad situation to the thriving of being alive.
Someone you share the level of comfort with to skip the small talk and jump to the grit that makes life exciting. The woman who peaks your interest with equal parts mystery and curiosity. The one who asks why. Why are you doing that? Is it serving you? How? As if saying, you can do better, you’re right, be you, get over yourself while I convey a sincere sense of gratitude for sharing. I listen.
The woman whose very presences you welcome, you don’t know why yet you accept it as good. The woman you don’t exactly want to be because I am one in infinity. There’s an acceptance and err of openness yet a line that you shouldn’t cross for fear of interrupting my bad ass universe.
A woman of practicality who takes on significant social change. A person who acknowledges the soul journey and maximizes being alive.
I am, and I am going to be.
Sometimes people say things about you. Sometimes positive and true. Sometimes negative and down right ugly. Maybe true too? Here’s the thing. What people say about you is your reputation. You can’t control other people. You certainly can’t control what they say about you as an individual.
You can be you, and control your character. Your character is who you are and how you act. People can sense when you’re not you. Sometimes, when they’re cheering for you, which they usually are, they say wow, you’re meant to be doing this. Or they pull you aside and give you pointers. Are you open to this advice?
The most amazing thing about your character is that you control 100% of it. Just you, no one else. But that’s not amazing, right? Here is the amazing part:
When you have such a strong character it will out shine your reputation in such a way that no matter what people say about you, your character is what people will remember. Your character will become the reason people call you, recommend you and want to be around you.