Life has many warning signs. The gut feeling that you shouldn’t go there or you should leave now. The consistent internal conflict that arises from a certain relationship. The big arrow saying this way placed beside the path of least resistance. Life becomes full of maybes – fast and furious. The karma is devastating. The karma takes you higher.
Reality is you get sick, you cry (a lot), you feel frustrated and down right unhappy. Good for you, you are aware. You’re alive.
I’ve been thinking about my soul journey. What are the sign posts? What are the warning signs? Am I doing the right things? Am I being me? I am thinking big enough? Small? Does it even matter what I think?
Then it happened. A sense inside me that can only be described as inner peace. I learned a new word, equanamous. I felt radiant. I got tired. I got up from the nap and took a walk. Up and down. Up and down I went. Year to year, month to month, day by day in the moment and out.
Up and down WE go. And I realized, they aren’t warning signs. They are sensations. Sensations that say, you’re human. Just be. The shift happened and I won’t ever be the same.
When you spend time with me you’ve heard me say, that’s your stuff, not my stuff. At one time, and from time to time, I think I have to follow all the rules. As mini-Shanon, following the rules was good. I wanted to be good. I was rewarded. Some where, around the age of 8, I realized rules we guidelines. My rewards changed.
I won an award for creating an anti-pollution poster. Appraise! I learned stoves are very hot; hot enough to light oil on fire. Oil is flammable. I became a better cook. I said the wrong thing in a meeting. Glares. I said the wrong thing in a meeting and career opportunities appeared. I showed up to places where “I didn’t belong” and walked away with new friends. I “belonged” and never fit in. Crazy rules.
My favorite rule of all? Your stuff is not my stuff. Explicit in this rule is choice. I can choose to accept your stuff. I don’t have to take on your stuff. I can’t change you. I can’t change the situation, the lesson, the experience…it. Please beware of your ‘it.’ There are no take backs for lived experiences. Your sadness, madness, praise and acclaim, it’s yours. My celebration, strengths, hardships and “learning lessons,” they are mine. We can connect and we cannot exchange our awareness.
I knew I was on to something, with my new rule, when a personal transformational shift occurred. The rewards changed. The gifts have been life altering. But that story is for another day, it’s exercise time.
High Five Friday’s is my e-newsletter. High Five reader Ellen, recently submitted the following questions in response to reading something I wrote about assumptions.
How do you treat the person who you dislike the most? Do you avoid them? Do you think of things that they will do when you are around them? Do you see redeemable qualities in them? Do you see parts of yourself in them?
Thank you, Ellen, for reading and sharing your questions.
My journal exercise went something like this:
List of ways I treat people I dislike
When I dislike a person it is for a reason and I need to shift my relationship to that person. Avoiding people can work to my advantage and often keeps me sane. I believe in the power of timing and good timing is rarely immediate. At the same time, dislike is a feeling that arises because now is the time for me to deal with something about me. I reflect on me and my actions, not the other person. Depending on the level of emotional charge the reflection period time varies.